I’m comfortable. My body is tired from the day it just survived. The new day has crept in slowly and yet my subconscious is held captive by its evil twin…my consciousness. And as my well due sleep escapes me my mind races. Across all the wrongs I’ve done in my life that I have yet to right…all of the words that I haven’t had the courage to speak…all of the people that I let my busy life keep me from.
You know I always considered myself a “live today like it’s your last” type of person…but with each passing day I see how easy it is to do the exact opposite. How easy it is to think “Hey I made it through last night…I’ll call so-and-so tomorrow” “Whats one more day?” The excuses come easier.
Besides ignoring anyone that has actually taken the time to come and check for updates to my small piece of the planet here I’ve ignored one good friend after another. Years and years of relationships I’ve seemed to let slip into darkness…instead of taking 15 minutes to pick up a phone and breathing life into them. Well I make a vow to spend tomorrow burning up my remaining AT&T Go minutes breathing life into every relationship I can…but tonight…while I lay here I’ll take the time to update you guys on what’s been popping with me lately.
Well I don’t have my blog here to see whats the last thing I let you guys in on…so let me start by saying my daughter moved in with her moms last week. It ripped me up inside. Her last day here her and her brother came in with their report cards and I’ll be damned if that morning ritual of “G’s and O’s” didn’t pay off. She brought me nothing but Goods and Outstandings as grades. She actually listened to me…she actually maintained or exceeded every grade she got last quarter…and then she left. Did I mention it ripped me up?
Well its not like she’s not here every weekend…but still…it aint the same.
Now my son…he aint listen a lick. But I’m hoping that it was just a lack of focus. Because I took away every distraction I came across for the entire summer. Video games…computers…all that shit…gone. He seems to be adjusting though. I’m catching him with his nose in books instead of LCDs and there’s something fulfilling about the sight.
My three loyal readers…please tell me whats up with these damn late night commercials. I mean are there actually people out here that are so lonely and with so much cash that they will dish out $2.99 to talk to strangers on the phone? The vultures profiting from these disenfranchised and anti-social perverts should be lined up and forced to look at these whack ass commercials they’re putting out. This shit truly needs to end.
OH…speaking of television…on one of my recent string of “yall don’t pay me enough to do this shit-fuck work”-me-days I caught an episode of Sharon Osbourne’s talk show. PWAHAHAHA!!! I’m laughing now…but at the time the shit was as painful to watch as the Laker’s getting swept by fucking Detroit…FUCKING DETROIT??? Anyway…her opening monologue just left me asking one question…WHAT THE FUCK??? I mean has anyone else seen this shit? Now I don’t have cable…so the whole Osbourne craze flew right by me without a trace which may be the reason why watching her sit on a couch and talk was about as interesting as watching anyone besides Tiger Woods play 18 holes of golf. But then here comes the kicker…her first guest was Nelly. Yes the Tip Drill man himself rolls out…san-band aid above the eye…and proceeds to politic with this British chick. What they spoke about I can’t even lie and say I know because after the sheer shock of seeing these two sitting on a couch exchanging pleasantries faded the forced conversation just got to be too painful for me to bear. Click.
One more TV jewel I need to pass on here…mainly to the ladies. Divorce Court. Now this is what I call a fucking show. I mean I’m a half hour late to work damn near EVERY day to watch stupid fuckers who actually have to think to themselves at one point in time “No…getting a divorce itself is not embarrassing and degrading enough for us…No…let’s go do it on TV!!!” Oh yeah. A couple is getting their TV divorce and as usual a black man is playing the role of loafer/deadbeat dad. His wife is putting all of his business out there and complaining to her sister…the honorable Judge Mabeline Ethram (I love this chick by the way) about how she needs to collect this child support that her separated husband is not paying and has not been paying. By this time judge Mabeline has run his deadbeat ass over the hot coals long enough…she tired of toying with his clown ass and she’s ready to dispense some good old fashioned TV justice.
Judge: OK…so Sister Girl…you’re asking for child support right?
Wife: I sure am…Sister Girl. *insert air-high-five*
Judge: Well Deadbeat Dad…how much do you make a month?
Deadbeat: Well I pull in about 3 grand a month ma’am but I pay support for my other kids too. *insert dirty looks and eye rolls from every woman in the courtroom here*
Judge: Sister Girl…how much do you make a month?
Wife: Well I’m not working.
Judge: Sister Girl…you’re not working? Well how do you take care of your son?
Wife: His father is taking care of him *pointing to the deadbeat*
Judge: Oh! The deadbeat’s father is financially assisting with the baby?
Wife: No…the baby stays with its father…the deadbeat.
WHAT IN THE HOT HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON HERE????!!!
This “deadbeat” is raising his son while his wife is at home…feet kicked up on the leather couch and ottoman…watching her soaps on the big screen…popping Bon-Bons like Peg Bundy out this bitch and this freak wants to collect child support for it. PWAHAHAHAHA!!! Now as the wave of shock wears passes me I realize I can’t blame her. That’s the type of fucked up mentality this country’s family judicial system is perpetuating to our young sisters. She’s a victim here…she had a baby…the deadbeat aint with her no more…where’s her fucking check right? LMAO!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Now after the judge set the wife’s confused ass straight with a few choice words she ordered her to give up her life of leisure find a fucking job and pay child support to her newly ex’d husband. You gotta love judge Mabeline boy.
Aight people an update on my love life…this just in…my love life aint really about shit right now. No long term prospects in my future…though I am enjoying the time I get to spend with friends from time to time. I know Monie is just looking for the update on the sex issue? Well Monie, we won’t walk down that embarrassing trail again but to you and the rest of the commentators that thought the outlook of a second chance was bleak you definitely underestimated the power of the truth. Not only did I get a second chance…but I have a feeling that comfort has set in…and who knows how many times I’ll be offered to get it right *BIG SMILE*…practice makes perfect after all.
People answer this for me in the comments if you will. At what point does sex become less important to you than building something long term? When do/did you realize that about yourselves? At what point does meaningless sex become unattractive?
So…hours pass and my mind’s still racing. Fuck!
Friday, July 02, 2004
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Aight Monie...
You and your funny ass...here's the update.
Really the weekend was not what I planned on at all.
First up I didn't make it up top to see my sister or to the joint at Slates to see Pumpkin-head Jodie and her man J.J. Let me tell yall with the cold that swooped through the area and the overcast that lasted all damn day it was looking like a "Sleep on the couch and watch Kung-Fu flicks" type of day. Add the fact that I was suffering from some 24 hour head cold thing and it was a wrap.
I called my lil sister who happened to be out shopping for the party and left a message with a house guest that picked up the phone...
"Hey...tell Lee that this is her big bruh calling and I'm not gonna make it up for the party. Tell her I know I'm a shit head but I'll be up next month for the 4th."
Boy when she catches up with me I'll probably get an earful. Speaking of which I forgot to call Pumpkin-head Jodie and give her the same courtesy call so when I got back to work the following Tuesday I was greeted by a nice email telling me "Yeah I see you're ducking me with your punk ass...yada yada yada" If I aint have so much love for her I might have taken offense...LMAO.
Anyways...on to what I'm sure my vast audience of three want to know...did I get some?
Well peeps...I got some. *BIG SMILE*
No...No...No...Hold the champagne and streamers...there was a catch.
Now the story goes like this...since 12 I've been fucking (if you can call it that at that age) and since 16 I've been having what I refer to as intimacy issues. Especially after I've been married and have been so used to running raw and not suiting up. So in laymen's terms...the first time is usually not the best time.
So this young lady who I plied with liquor and convinced to share my roof for the evening did not leave ecstatic...but if I can work out a second appearance and history holds true it'll be a lot better for both of us.
Ok...now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself in front of you three...lemme get my ass up outta here. Monie...congrats again on the new gig...gimme a dollar nucka!!!
Really the weekend was not what I planned on at all.
First up I didn't make it up top to see my sister or to the joint at Slates to see Pumpkin-head Jodie and her man J.J. Let me tell yall with the cold that swooped through the area and the overcast that lasted all damn day it was looking like a "Sleep on the couch and watch Kung-Fu flicks" type of day. Add the fact that I was suffering from some 24 hour head cold thing and it was a wrap.
I called my lil sister who happened to be out shopping for the party and left a message with a house guest that picked up the phone...
"Hey...tell Lee that this is her big bruh calling and I'm not gonna make it up for the party. Tell her I know I'm a shit head but I'll be up next month for the 4th."
Boy when she catches up with me I'll probably get an earful. Speaking of which I forgot to call Pumpkin-head Jodie and give her the same courtesy call so when I got back to work the following Tuesday I was greeted by a nice email telling me "Yeah I see you're ducking me with your punk ass...yada yada yada" If I aint have so much love for her I might have taken offense...LMAO.
Anyways...on to what I'm sure my vast audience of three want to know...did I get some?
Well peeps...I got some. *BIG SMILE*
No...No...No...Hold the champagne and streamers...there was a catch.
Now the story goes like this...since 12 I've been fucking (if you can call it that at that age) and since 16 I've been having what I refer to as intimacy issues. Especially after I've been married and have been so used to running raw and not suiting up. So in laymen's terms...the first time is usually not the best time.
So this young lady who I plied with liquor and convinced to share my roof for the evening did not leave ecstatic...but if I can work out a second appearance and history holds true it'll be a lot better for both of us.
Ok...now that I've thoroughly embarrassed myself in front of you three...lemme get my ass up outta here. Monie...congrats again on the new gig...gimme a dollar nucka!!!
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Big Weekend Plans...
Ok...I had to put this up in advance. Put my energies and intentions out there to sort of push me along...sorta help me reach my goals.
So this weekend...and yall hold me to it ok...I will go to Jersey to see my lil sister Lee...I will make it to Manhattan for this party at Slates (looking so sexy I'll actually get my face on the show being taped there)...and I will get some for the first time this year. That’s right the first time...what of it.
Hold me to my word yall...and wish me luck
So this weekend...and yall hold me to it ok...I will go to Jersey to see my lil sister Lee...I will make it to Manhattan for this party at Slates (looking so sexy I'll actually get my face on the show being taped there)...and I will get some for the first time this year. That’s right the first time...what of it.
Hold me to my word yall...and wish me luck
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Memorial Wash...
The holiday weekend was a wash.
No special plans except catching a couple of laps in the pool...but the cold weather even kept me from that.
Sunday I caught that WB American Idol spin-off...Superstar USA. Now for those that haven’t seen it...you haven’t missed much. The highlights are pretty much an anorexic cat in high heels, mid drift and belly ring with Madonna moves and a blonde Brittany Spears wanna be with a nice rack who reads the words of the songs she sings to America off the palm of her hand...very poorly at that...LMAO!!!
But the one premise I can’t get past is that these people dont get that they cannot sing. I mean I love my own voice in the shower too but damnit I know I can’t sing.
My Memorial Day was really relaxing too. TV was once again my companion. I caught a marathon of Colonial House on PBS that got me through the bulk of the day. This show for those that may not have seen it before is a group of volunteers that do a Survivor-esque rendition of the first colonies that came to America in the early 1600's. It kept me enthralled especially when members of the Passamaquoddy and Wampanoag (the "thanksgiving's day tribe") tribes paid visits to the newly founded colony. Historically sound...entertaining and riveting...I loved this show and was upset I missed the season.
My Monday evening brought a call from my ex wife's latest husband. He told me...or should I say my voice mail...many things including the fact that my ex-wife was interested in having my eldest daughter come and live with her. The thought did not sit well with me at all...so I waited for my daughter to get home and asked her about the issue. She was adamant about moving in with her mother…excited even at the thought of home schooling for her upcoming 2nd grade move. I didn’t get it...and in fact still dont. But I spoke with some close friends...Danny and Tina...and they both ensured me that it was normal. I agreed to let her try the move after I am given a specific plan that I can agree to.
But still I wondered if it was something that I had done wrong. If I had not been the great parent that I thought myself to be. So Pumpkin-Head Jodie was the next council that I sought. Jodie...the cautious female 007 that she is had me slow my roll. She tells me to talk to my daughter again and get the reasons she wants to go. Agree to nothing...yet. I gotta say I love her for that. Her words hit home "Kids need parents...regardless of gender". Just cause she's their mom doesn’t mean she can do a better job at raising a woman. It gave me much to think on.
No special plans except catching a couple of laps in the pool...but the cold weather even kept me from that.
Sunday I caught that WB American Idol spin-off...Superstar USA. Now for those that haven’t seen it...you haven’t missed much. The highlights are pretty much an anorexic cat in high heels, mid drift and belly ring with Madonna moves and a blonde Brittany Spears wanna be with a nice rack who reads the words of the songs she sings to America off the palm of her hand...very poorly at that...LMAO!!!
But the one premise I can’t get past is that these people dont get that they cannot sing. I mean I love my own voice in the shower too but damnit I know I can’t sing.
My Memorial Day was really relaxing too. TV was once again my companion. I caught a marathon of Colonial House on PBS that got me through the bulk of the day. This show for those that may not have seen it before is a group of volunteers that do a Survivor-esque rendition of the first colonies that came to America in the early 1600's. It kept me enthralled especially when members of the Passamaquoddy and Wampanoag (the "thanksgiving's day tribe") tribes paid visits to the newly founded colony. Historically sound...entertaining and riveting...I loved this show and was upset I missed the season.
My Monday evening brought a call from my ex wife's latest husband. He told me...or should I say my voice mail...many things including the fact that my ex-wife was interested in having my eldest daughter come and live with her. The thought did not sit well with me at all...so I waited for my daughter to get home and asked her about the issue. She was adamant about moving in with her mother…excited even at the thought of home schooling for her upcoming 2nd grade move. I didn’t get it...and in fact still dont. But I spoke with some close friends...Danny and Tina...and they both ensured me that it was normal. I agreed to let her try the move after I am given a specific plan that I can agree to.
But still I wondered if it was something that I had done wrong. If I had not been the great parent that I thought myself to be. So Pumpkin-Head Jodie was the next council that I sought. Jodie...the cautious female 007 that she is had me slow my roll. She tells me to talk to my daughter again and get the reasons she wants to go. Agree to nothing...yet. I gotta say I love her for that. Her words hit home "Kids need parents...regardless of gender". Just cause she's their mom doesn’t mean she can do a better job at raising a woman. It gave me much to think on.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
The Educational Weekend
I learned a lot…
Ok…where to start? It’s always easy to say you know something but much harder to put that knowledge into action. Well this weekend was just the kick in the ass that I needed to help me turn all that around. I’ve always been the type to put others needs before my own. Now don’t get it twisted…I do at times have an extremely inflated sense of self and can get into a Biggie and Method Man state of mind (Fuck the world…don’t ask me for shit) but if I know you and you aint made it to the shit list yet…I usually put you first…after my moms and shorties that is.
So Friday…I’m stuck behind this desk till 10:00PM. Now I’m enjoying the flex schedule that goes along with these late Fridays. But I’ll be damned if it wasn’t supposed to be a three week cover until they filled a job that opened up here. This shit is killing my Friday night debauchery. 10:01 hit and I was headed home but I really missed the calling of my watering hole and I had gotten a call just a half hour earlier from a friend, Tina, that was down in the spot that told me it was popping off in there…so I busted a quick U and headed into DC. She was right…it was packed and all the familiar faces were there. I felt like George Wendt rolling up into Cheers…”Norm!!! Noooor-man!!!” LMAO!!! Anyway I snuck in a quick double shot of my favorite sipping cognac…caught up with a few old friends and found my way to Tina’s table to give her some face time.
To any brothers that may have found their way to this blog let me share this with yall so maybe you too can learn this valuable lesson I was passed on at that table. Tina got up and disappeared for a while at which time her girls were left to give me the third degree about what was going on with me and their girl. I gathered from their tone that they were being told have truths and partial stories…or maybe it was just the liquor talking. When she got back she got to whispering to one of her girls I just met that evening. Brothers, here’s where her girl dropped the scoop to me.
“So what? She just wanted the dick with no strings attached! Whats wrong with that? You guys do it all the time!”
WHATTHEFUCK??? Right there I knew the stories she was passing on weren’t on the money cause the dick or any strings that might be attached to it never came up in any of our conversations. I looked over at her and she turned bright red. I snuck up close to her free ear and asked if that’s what she wanted. “Negative” “Maybe” and “If so whats wrong with that” is all she responded with.
After all this talk lately about the reversal of rolls in this society I wasn’t too shocked by the news. But ladies…if you wanna be out there getting a piece from whoever then own up to it…don’t get shy about it.
None the less…it wasn’t gonna happen that night. She had plans to meet up with some friends afterwards and I was just too tired to play 3:00AM booty call. So I walked her to her whip and saw her off on her merry way.
5:00AM Saturday morning I’m awakened by Jay-Z singing “Turn my music high-High-HIGH-ER. You don’t know what you do to me” which I set as the music tone on my new celly. I pick up the call and was greeted by Tina on the other end telling me she couldn’t move her legs and they were burning. I can hear her slurring her words a bit (obviously still a bit under the influence) so I don’t panic too much but just ask her is everything aight.
“Yeah I was just working out the other day and my legs are killing me…what you doing?”
“Its 5:00 on a Saturday morning shorty…what do you think I’m doing?”
“Oh…ok go back to sleep.”
“Gee…thanks” I mumbled to myself after she hung up…”aint this a bitch”
Right then I could tell Saturday was gonna be one helluva day.
I tried to get a few hours sleep before having to return to work early that day to take care of some business that just couldn’t wait until my scheduled time of arrival. Between the work related calls and the frustration I was feeling it was a wash.
So I get off of work at 6 that evening race to BWI airport to pick up a friend and his girl that are flying back home from the Midwest and make my way out to New Carrolton to spend some time to hear about their trip and throw back a Corona. Jay-Z screams out once more and I hit my call button to see who’s looking to have a conversation with me. Tina. She’s in Adams Morgan with her friends and is wondering if I’ll be able to make it out there. Now I’m tired…but I enjoy her company…she makes me smile (at times other than 5:00AM on a Saturday morning that is) and I decide to make my way through the Adams Morgan traffic to see her. After an hour of cruising trying to find a parking spot, cause I absolutely refuse to dish out 15 bones to park in a damned lot, she hits me up again and lets me know that a spot is free in front of the spot that they are just leaving. So I rough off a few gawkers straight Brooklyn style and zoom into the spot…LIGHTWEIGHTS!!! LMAO!
We make our way to Heaven and Hell and cop some drinks. I had a great time with her and her boys. They all went to college together so I’m not really up on all their jokes and stories but I don’t feel like too much of an outsider and hell I’m so tired right about then that it really don’t matter one way or another to me. 12:30 rolls around and I see that they are in no way near finished partying so I tell shorty that I’m about to jet. I give into her request to stay a little longer. I just love a woman in a skirt and the way she puts her cheek to mine so that I can hear her voice over the music…so I give her another half hour. 1:00AM rolls through and the thought of the long drive home to VA or even the thought of an alcohol induced night of passion just isnt doing it for me…so I bounce.
Sunday morning makes it’s way to existence and I’m awakened early by my youth telling me that their moms is on her way early to pick them up. Now this may not shock you as much as it still does me but know that this chick is an hour late for everything…I’m literally talking EVERYTHING!!! So I get one head cut and the other two braided up nice and tight and shove em out the door. I get an invite to be the third wheel to the movies and decide to call Tina up and invite her. She declines…so I decline…and Sunday goes out like a lamb.
Monday morning. I get my shorties off to school and crash on the futon for another hour before the idea of dinner comes to mind. Damn I hate cooking. So I shower…and get ready to do battle with the army of cicadas that are infesting the area. I hit 411 to get the number of the fashion company my girl Pumpkin-Head Jodie is doing her 40 hours a week at. Today…May 24th is her birthday and I gotta wish her the best. She’s been in my life since I was 16. She was my first love. She unwittingly helped me get my life back on track after I went through my divorce and I at least owe her a call.
“(Insert company name here), how can I help you?”
“Yeah is Pumpkin-Head Jodie around?”
“I believe that Ms Pumpkin-Head has stepped out to lunch. But let me buzz her to make sure”
Buzz her? I guess that super long title she ran off and tried to break down to me really holds some weight…cause I’ve never known someone that could be ‘buzzed’…LOL.
I get her voice mail and proceed to leave one of my long winded messages of birthday glad tidings while mispronouncing her latest boyfriend, JR’s, name.
As an aside: She, as well as many others, feels I do this on purpose… (Although in her case it might be true…hell she was my heart damnit!!! LOL) but the fact is that I know quite a lot of women. Women that go through men like they do lipstick colors and I just do not have the free ‘known-good’ brain cells left to waste on these Geek-of-the-Weeks. So I park all these fuckers’ names in the half-baked cells that are on their last legs on the right side of my cerebellum...so I can get real creative with em when need be. When they put a ring on their fingers and a bun in the oven I’ll commit their asses to memory.
Anyway Pumpkin-Head Jodie hits me back minutes later. I hit her with the 20 questions about her b-day weekend and grill her about what Ray-Jay, her black male model boyfriend, got her. I think I’ll put up a separate entry about her later on in the week. She can’t realize how big a part she played in my life and I think she deserves it.
So the kids are in bed Monday evening and my celly starts to play a salsa cut letting me know that I’ve got a text message waiting. It’s Tina asking me if I enjoyed my movie on Sunday. I let her know that I decided not to go cause I didn’t want to play the third wheel. It turns out that she didn’t come because she was tired and all I could think to myself was “I was tired every time I took my ass out to see her this weekend”. But the lesson to be learned is to do what you want and nothing more because no one owes you anything in return.
Ok…where to start? It’s always easy to say you know something but much harder to put that knowledge into action. Well this weekend was just the kick in the ass that I needed to help me turn all that around. I’ve always been the type to put others needs before my own. Now don’t get it twisted…I do at times have an extremely inflated sense of self and can get into a Biggie and Method Man state of mind (Fuck the world…don’t ask me for shit) but if I know you and you aint made it to the shit list yet…I usually put you first…after my moms and shorties that is.
So Friday…I’m stuck behind this desk till 10:00PM. Now I’m enjoying the flex schedule that goes along with these late Fridays. But I’ll be damned if it wasn’t supposed to be a three week cover until they filled a job that opened up here. This shit is killing my Friday night debauchery. 10:01 hit and I was headed home but I really missed the calling of my watering hole and I had gotten a call just a half hour earlier from a friend, Tina, that was down in the spot that told me it was popping off in there…so I busted a quick U and headed into DC. She was right…it was packed and all the familiar faces were there. I felt like George Wendt rolling up into Cheers…”Norm!!! Noooor-man!!!” LMAO!!! Anyway I snuck in a quick double shot of my favorite sipping cognac…caught up with a few old friends and found my way to Tina’s table to give her some face time.
To any brothers that may have found their way to this blog let me share this with yall so maybe you too can learn this valuable lesson I was passed on at that table. Tina got up and disappeared for a while at which time her girls were left to give me the third degree about what was going on with me and their girl. I gathered from their tone that they were being told have truths and partial stories…or maybe it was just the liquor talking. When she got back she got to whispering to one of her girls I just met that evening. Brothers, here’s where her girl dropped the scoop to me.
“So what? She just wanted the dick with no strings attached! Whats wrong with that? You guys do it all the time!”
WHATTHEFUCK??? Right there I knew the stories she was passing on weren’t on the money cause the dick or any strings that might be attached to it never came up in any of our conversations. I looked over at her and she turned bright red. I snuck up close to her free ear and asked if that’s what she wanted. “Negative” “Maybe” and “If so whats wrong with that” is all she responded with.
After all this talk lately about the reversal of rolls in this society I wasn’t too shocked by the news. But ladies…if you wanna be out there getting a piece from whoever then own up to it…don’t get shy about it.
None the less…it wasn’t gonna happen that night. She had plans to meet up with some friends afterwards and I was just too tired to play 3:00AM booty call. So I walked her to her whip and saw her off on her merry way.
5:00AM Saturday morning I’m awakened by Jay-Z singing “Turn my music high-High-HIGH-ER. You don’t know what you do to me” which I set as the music tone on my new celly. I pick up the call and was greeted by Tina on the other end telling me she couldn’t move her legs and they were burning. I can hear her slurring her words a bit (obviously still a bit under the influence) so I don’t panic too much but just ask her is everything aight.
“Yeah I was just working out the other day and my legs are killing me…what you doing?”
“Its 5:00 on a Saturday morning shorty…what do you think I’m doing?”
“Oh…ok go back to sleep.”
“Gee…thanks” I mumbled to myself after she hung up…”aint this a bitch”
Right then I could tell Saturday was gonna be one helluva day.
I tried to get a few hours sleep before having to return to work early that day to take care of some business that just couldn’t wait until my scheduled time of arrival. Between the work related calls and the frustration I was feeling it was a wash.
So I get off of work at 6 that evening race to BWI airport to pick up a friend and his girl that are flying back home from the Midwest and make my way out to New Carrolton to spend some time to hear about their trip and throw back a Corona. Jay-Z screams out once more and I hit my call button to see who’s looking to have a conversation with me. Tina. She’s in Adams Morgan with her friends and is wondering if I’ll be able to make it out there. Now I’m tired…but I enjoy her company…she makes me smile (at times other than 5:00AM on a Saturday morning that is) and I decide to make my way through the Adams Morgan traffic to see her. After an hour of cruising trying to find a parking spot, cause I absolutely refuse to dish out 15 bones to park in a damned lot, she hits me up again and lets me know that a spot is free in front of the spot that they are just leaving. So I rough off a few gawkers straight Brooklyn style and zoom into the spot…LIGHTWEIGHTS!!! LMAO!
We make our way to Heaven and Hell and cop some drinks. I had a great time with her and her boys. They all went to college together so I’m not really up on all their jokes and stories but I don’t feel like too much of an outsider and hell I’m so tired right about then that it really don’t matter one way or another to me. 12:30 rolls around and I see that they are in no way near finished partying so I tell shorty that I’m about to jet. I give into her request to stay a little longer. I just love a woman in a skirt and the way she puts her cheek to mine so that I can hear her voice over the music…so I give her another half hour. 1:00AM rolls through and the thought of the long drive home to VA or even the thought of an alcohol induced night of passion just isnt doing it for me…so I bounce.
Sunday morning makes it’s way to existence and I’m awakened early by my youth telling me that their moms is on her way early to pick them up. Now this may not shock you as much as it still does me but know that this chick is an hour late for everything…I’m literally talking EVERYTHING!!! So I get one head cut and the other two braided up nice and tight and shove em out the door. I get an invite to be the third wheel to the movies and decide to call Tina up and invite her. She declines…so I decline…and Sunday goes out like a lamb.
Monday morning. I get my shorties off to school and crash on the futon for another hour before the idea of dinner comes to mind. Damn I hate cooking. So I shower…and get ready to do battle with the army of cicadas that are infesting the area. I hit 411 to get the number of the fashion company my girl Pumpkin-Head Jodie is doing her 40 hours a week at. Today…May 24th is her birthday and I gotta wish her the best. She’s been in my life since I was 16. She was my first love. She unwittingly helped me get my life back on track after I went through my divorce and I at least owe her a call.
“(Insert company name here), how can I help you?”
“Yeah is Pumpkin-Head Jodie around?”
“I believe that Ms Pumpkin-Head has stepped out to lunch. But let me buzz her to make sure”
Buzz her? I guess that super long title she ran off and tried to break down to me really holds some weight…cause I’ve never known someone that could be ‘buzzed’…LOL.
I get her voice mail and proceed to leave one of my long winded messages of birthday glad tidings while mispronouncing her latest boyfriend, JR’s, name.
As an aside: She, as well as many others, feels I do this on purpose… (Although in her case it might be true…hell she was my heart damnit!!! LOL) but the fact is that I know quite a lot of women. Women that go through men like they do lipstick colors and I just do not have the free ‘known-good’ brain cells left to waste on these Geek-of-the-Weeks. So I park all these fuckers’ names in the half-baked cells that are on their last legs on the right side of my cerebellum...so I can get real creative with em when need be. When they put a ring on their fingers and a bun in the oven I’ll commit their asses to memory.
Anyway Pumpkin-Head Jodie hits me back minutes later. I hit her with the 20 questions about her b-day weekend and grill her about what Ray-Jay, her black male model boyfriend, got her. I think I’ll put up a separate entry about her later on in the week. She can’t realize how big a part she played in my life and I think she deserves it.
So the kids are in bed Monday evening and my celly starts to play a salsa cut letting me know that I’ve got a text message waiting. It’s Tina asking me if I enjoyed my movie on Sunday. I let her know that I decided not to go cause I didn’t want to play the third wheel. It turns out that she didn’t come because she was tired and all I could think to myself was “I was tired every time I took my ass out to see her this weekend”. But the lesson to be learned is to do what you want and nothing more because no one owes you anything in return.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
My Weekend...all late and shit!!!
I know it’s late but better later than never right?
Now I work Saturdays, unlike most, so my weekend is Sunday and Monday. But Saturday I was able to get up with a good friend of mine and do some hanging out...if you can call it that.
A little background intel: This friend I met some months back...during Happy Hour at my favorite watering hole. She caught my eye and kept my interest by being more amused by her own jokes than my man sitting across from her was. I love a woman with a sense of humor even if it’s a strange one. *short version* We finally got together and have been pretty cool friends since. It doesn’t seem to be progressing past that...but its cool cause she's tons of fun to hang with and sometimes seems to be just as bewildered by this whole dating/relationship thing as I am...which is a plus in my book.
So...me and my planning originally had a birthday house party, a games party (spades, dominos and such) and as a back-up a house party out in Southeast with a DJ and the whole nine. By the time I got off of work the house party was done...the games party was cancelled of course and I forgot to get the address for the party out in SE. Trust me...it did not end well. After driving around aimlessly for a while we finally found an all night diner and watched the end of the LA vs. SAC game. Go Lakers!!!! I still had a good time though I can’t say the same for shorty.
So Sunday morning...way too early mind you...my adopted lil sister V calls me up to invite me to dinner. She tells me she had a breakfast planned but had to switch it up due to cancellations (yeah she's the Martha Stewart of my two adopted sisters...LOL). At the mention of breakfast the sleep rushed outta my eyes and it was all a go. So my son and his anti-social ass decided playing upstairs with his friend would be more exciting than joining the rest of us on an outing so the three of us, my daughters and I, made our way into DC to her townhouse after making a quick stop for some sparkling wine and mango juice (I told yall she was a damned Martha Stewart).
Breakfast...I can’t tell you how good it was. Biscuits...eggs with stuff in there that I'm sure the more sophisticated palate would recognize...shrimp something or another and another dish I'm just too damned gully to describe helped my hangover lovely. Damn I love that girl...LOL.
The afternoon held a special surprise in store for me as my phone rang and I received an invite to do something I had been dying to do. After securing my shorties at the baby sitter (their damned momma) I was picked up by a young lady I'll refer to as...well damnit I can’t think of name on such short notice...but she picked me up. And drove me to the airport...actually just outside of the airport where she shared the landing of airplanes with me. You sit there and these big ass metal birds fly over you so close you swear you could just reach up and touch em. The water of the river at your feet...the sun beating down on you...and good conversation...I was won over. The day was now a good one.
I could only secure my sitter for a couple of hours so I couldn’t stay as long as I wanted. I wanted to learn more about this young lady. Learn more of her language and culture. Just enjoy sharing her space in that surreal place. But responsibility can be a bitch sometimes so we had to cut it short. But it’s on my "To Do Again" list...definitely.
My Monday...was a flop. I had plans on visiting a friend for the first time out in B-MORE. She wasn’t up to it...and I could hear it in her voice so I gave her a graceful out...and she "reluctantly" took it. I came into work...and pimped the J.O. for their bandwidth and surfed the web to my hearts content. You know I realized...work isnt a bad place as long as you can do whatever the fuck you want and get there and leave when ever you feel like it. LMAO!!!
Aight...I'll let yall know how this coming weekend is if nothing more pressing comes up before then.
Now I work Saturdays, unlike most, so my weekend is Sunday and Monday. But Saturday I was able to get up with a good friend of mine and do some hanging out...if you can call it that.
A little background intel: This friend I met some months back...during Happy Hour at my favorite watering hole. She caught my eye and kept my interest by being more amused by her own jokes than my man sitting across from her was. I love a woman with a sense of humor even if it’s a strange one. *short version* We finally got together and have been pretty cool friends since. It doesn’t seem to be progressing past that...but its cool cause she's tons of fun to hang with and sometimes seems to be just as bewildered by this whole dating/relationship thing as I am...which is a plus in my book.
So...me and my planning originally had a birthday house party, a games party (spades, dominos and such) and as a back-up a house party out in Southeast with a DJ and the whole nine. By the time I got off of work the house party was done...the games party was cancelled of course and I forgot to get the address for the party out in SE. Trust me...it did not end well. After driving around aimlessly for a while we finally found an all night diner and watched the end of the LA vs. SAC game. Go Lakers!!!! I still had a good time though I can’t say the same for shorty.
So Sunday morning...way too early mind you...my adopted lil sister V calls me up to invite me to dinner. She tells me she had a breakfast planned but had to switch it up due to cancellations (yeah she's the Martha Stewart of my two adopted sisters...LOL). At the mention of breakfast the sleep rushed outta my eyes and it was all a go. So my son and his anti-social ass decided playing upstairs with his friend would be more exciting than joining the rest of us on an outing so the three of us, my daughters and I, made our way into DC to her townhouse after making a quick stop for some sparkling wine and mango juice (I told yall she was a damned Martha Stewart).
Breakfast...I can’t tell you how good it was. Biscuits...eggs with stuff in there that I'm sure the more sophisticated palate would recognize...shrimp something or another and another dish I'm just too damned gully to describe helped my hangover lovely. Damn I love that girl...LOL.
The afternoon held a special surprise in store for me as my phone rang and I received an invite to do something I had been dying to do. After securing my shorties at the baby sitter (their damned momma) I was picked up by a young lady I'll refer to as...well damnit I can’t think of name on such short notice...but she picked me up. And drove me to the airport...actually just outside of the airport where she shared the landing of airplanes with me. You sit there and these big ass metal birds fly over you so close you swear you could just reach up and touch em. The water of the river at your feet...the sun beating down on you...and good conversation...I was won over. The day was now a good one.
I could only secure my sitter for a couple of hours so I couldn’t stay as long as I wanted. I wanted to learn more about this young lady. Learn more of her language and culture. Just enjoy sharing her space in that surreal place. But responsibility can be a bitch sometimes so we had to cut it short. But it’s on my "To Do Again" list...definitely.
My Monday...was a flop. I had plans on visiting a friend for the first time out in B-MORE. She wasn’t up to it...and I could hear it in her voice so I gave her a graceful out...and she "reluctantly" took it. I came into work...and pimped the J.O. for their bandwidth and surfed the web to my hearts content. You know I realized...work isnt a bad place as long as you can do whatever the fuck you want and get there and leave when ever you feel like it. LMAO!!!
Aight...I'll let yall know how this coming weekend is if nothing more pressing comes up before then.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
The Update...
Many asked me how the Princess enjoyed her day so I figured I'd put it up although there's not too much to talk about.
Lemme recollect (insert dream sequence music and fuzzy visuals here...LOL)
I took my sweet time getting to work yesterday morning...but what's new? I stopped off at the bank to pick up the little change I thought would be necessary to get everything that Klarque requested. I stopped off and special ordered her cake and slowly drug my ass to my desk.
6 1/2 hours later I told my co-workers that I was out early to go make my pick-ups. The cake looked wonderful. What is it about having a cake box in your hand that makes everyone smile at you? I picked up two small happy birthday balloons on sticks...cause I'd be damned if I'd add to my spectacle with them jokers floating up above my head drawing more attention.
I made my stop at the Ballston Mall and was ecstatic to find that there was a Kay-Bee toy store one flight up. Yall wanna know what I got her dont you? Damn yall nosey...LOL. Let’s just say I got her what she asked for and some things she didn’t ask for but really wanted. I copped my son a new basketball...a small price to pay for the house he's gonna buy me on that NBA salary...PSYCHE...and a blow up dinosaur for my three year old....she likes to ruff people off so let her get gully with air-filled tyrannosaurus rex for a while.
Oh and to anyone planning on toy shopping...I spent over 50 bucks and got 2 free toys for spending that much. So if you're gonna spend some toy money...go check em out.
So now I look like a hot ass fool. A cake in one hand...a bag as tall as me filled with toys in the other...trying to maneuver my new cell phone (Nokia 3300) to reply to my text messages and find my favorite MP3 cuts. Right there I decide that hitting a bus and a ten minute walk aint gonna cut it. 15 dollars and a short ass cab ride later I'm home.
The Princess loved all of her things...especially her cake. I've been officially crowned the Bestest Daddy in the World and you know what...I think she's right. LMAO!!!
Lemme recollect (insert dream sequence music and fuzzy visuals here...LOL)
I took my sweet time getting to work yesterday morning...but what's new? I stopped off at the bank to pick up the little change I thought would be necessary to get everything that Klarque requested. I stopped off and special ordered her cake and slowly drug my ass to my desk.
6 1/2 hours later I told my co-workers that I was out early to go make my pick-ups. The cake looked wonderful. What is it about having a cake box in your hand that makes everyone smile at you? I picked up two small happy birthday balloons on sticks...cause I'd be damned if I'd add to my spectacle with them jokers floating up above my head drawing more attention.
I made my stop at the Ballston Mall and was ecstatic to find that there was a Kay-Bee toy store one flight up. Yall wanna know what I got her dont you? Damn yall nosey...LOL. Let’s just say I got her what she asked for and some things she didn’t ask for but really wanted. I copped my son a new basketball...a small price to pay for the house he's gonna buy me on that NBA salary...PSYCHE...and a blow up dinosaur for my three year old....she likes to ruff people off so let her get gully with air-filled tyrannosaurus rex for a while.
Oh and to anyone planning on toy shopping...I spent over 50 bucks and got 2 free toys for spending that much. So if you're gonna spend some toy money...go check em out.
So now I look like a hot ass fool. A cake in one hand...a bag as tall as me filled with toys in the other...trying to maneuver my new cell phone (Nokia 3300) to reply to my text messages and find my favorite MP3 cuts. Right there I decide that hitting a bus and a ten minute walk aint gonna cut it. 15 dollars and a short ass cab ride later I'm home.
The Princess loved all of her things...especially her cake. I've been officially crowned the Bestest Daddy in the World and you know what...I think she's right. LMAO!!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
La Princessa
May 12th, 2004...A very special day in my life. 7 years ago I was introduced to a young lady that I had been waiting to meet since I was the tender age of 12. 7 years and nine months ago I got some booty…those were the days…LMBAO!!! Today is my baby girl’s birthday. Klarque a true blessing in my life…she saved me…and truly made me want to be a good man.
6:30AM the princess’ voice encroached on the military coup that I was waging in my dream. The bad guy slipped through my fingers and made his way to his is getaway car. I had him in my sights and with the first shot shattered the back window of his PT Cruiser. As I adjusted my aim the word daddy made me ease the pressure of my trigger finger off of the trigger of my sub-automatic machine gun. I could never do wrong in her presence. “Daddy”, she repeated again as I struggled to make my lips return her call. I rolled over and there she stood with a proud smile on her face. “Daddy, today’s my birthday.” Like I wasn’t there 7 years ago to witness it…or even the past month as she reminded me daily of the approaching event. “I know baby…Happy Birthday sweetheart” I told her…giving her the ok to start the celebrating that she had caged inside her tiny body.
“You know all that stuff that I wanted? You don’t really have to get it for me.”
Imagine my shock…LOL. “Really baby? You don’t want anything for your birthday?”
“Oh I do want the stuff…you just don’t have to get it for me today if you can’t.”
She’s always thinking of her Big Dog Daddy Dearest…LOL.
But its her day so I’ll be making a few stops to pick up the individual chocolate cake with the pink icing and the pink flowers, the My Little Pony (I think her imagination must have escaped her when she made that request…cause who still has My Little Pony on their wish list?) and a black counterpart to the Barbie doll she requested (last year was Moesha so I’ll have to see who’s the latest black woman out with a doll while I comb the Ballston Mall toy stores on my lunch break.).
He brother even threw me a curve today when he asked me to pick her up something for him. Kye doesn’t do birthdays. He wants grown up shit at the age of 10 and you can skip the cake and balloons cause if it don’t run on the smallest fucking batteries out…he don’t want it. I can’t believe he’s getting into it.
“Kye, today’s my birthday” the princess told him.
“Yeah…good” he replied like he couldn’t give a hot fuck.
Disappointment spread across her face like teenage acne.
As she walked to her room to get her hair products he covered the side of his face and whispered to me, “I know what I’m doing” to calm the confusion that was obviously showing in my eyes.
So she got her hairstyle of choice…her hair out (no ponytails today)…part down the middle…all going back with a curl on the ends. She followed the ritual and made her way to the mirror to look over my work…like her tiny ass actually pays me or something. After testing the bounce with the palm of her hands she gave me acknowledging nod for a job well done. That’s my little diva in the making. Let me take the time out now to apologize to the man that she chooses to settle down with. Because I’ll be damned if I’ll apologize after I meet him and that poor chump will never live up to the standards I’m getting her accustomed to. It’s good to be the king…but even better to be the daddy…*BIG SMILE*
As they left the house for the school bus this morning…”*POUNDZ*…G’s and O’s” (which stands for Goods and Outstandings…the level of work and behavior I expect them to put out at school and the only acceptable grades on their report cards)…I could actually see her getting older with every step she took. My loving baby…my prissy pre-teen…my wise-ass teen…my hard working college student…my independent young woman…my happily married wife…my mother of three…my daughter. I pray I’m here to meet them all.
6:30AM the princess’ voice encroached on the military coup that I was waging in my dream. The bad guy slipped through my fingers and made his way to his is getaway car. I had him in my sights and with the first shot shattered the back window of his PT Cruiser. As I adjusted my aim the word daddy made me ease the pressure of my trigger finger off of the trigger of my sub-automatic machine gun. I could never do wrong in her presence. “Daddy”, she repeated again as I struggled to make my lips return her call. I rolled over and there she stood with a proud smile on her face. “Daddy, today’s my birthday.” Like I wasn’t there 7 years ago to witness it…or even the past month as she reminded me daily of the approaching event. “I know baby…Happy Birthday sweetheart” I told her…giving her the ok to start the celebrating that she had caged inside her tiny body.
“You know all that stuff that I wanted? You don’t really have to get it for me.”
Imagine my shock…LOL. “Really baby? You don’t want anything for your birthday?”
“Oh I do want the stuff…you just don’t have to get it for me today if you can’t.”
She’s always thinking of her Big Dog Daddy Dearest…LOL.
But its her day so I’ll be making a few stops to pick up the individual chocolate cake with the pink icing and the pink flowers, the My Little Pony (I think her imagination must have escaped her when she made that request…cause who still has My Little Pony on their wish list?) and a black counterpart to the Barbie doll she requested (last year was Moesha so I’ll have to see who’s the latest black woman out with a doll while I comb the Ballston Mall toy stores on my lunch break.).
He brother even threw me a curve today when he asked me to pick her up something for him. Kye doesn’t do birthdays. He wants grown up shit at the age of 10 and you can skip the cake and balloons cause if it don’t run on the smallest fucking batteries out…he don’t want it. I can’t believe he’s getting into it.
“Kye, today’s my birthday” the princess told him.
“Yeah…good” he replied like he couldn’t give a hot fuck.
Disappointment spread across her face like teenage acne.
As she walked to her room to get her hair products he covered the side of his face and whispered to me, “I know what I’m doing” to calm the confusion that was obviously showing in my eyes.
So she got her hairstyle of choice…her hair out (no ponytails today)…part down the middle…all going back with a curl on the ends. She followed the ritual and made her way to the mirror to look over my work…like her tiny ass actually pays me or something. After testing the bounce with the palm of her hands she gave me acknowledging nod for a job well done. That’s my little diva in the making. Let me take the time out now to apologize to the man that she chooses to settle down with. Because I’ll be damned if I’ll apologize after I meet him and that poor chump will never live up to the standards I’m getting her accustomed to. It’s good to be the king…but even better to be the daddy…*BIG SMILE*
As they left the house for the school bus this morning…”*POUNDZ*…G’s and O’s” (which stands for Goods and Outstandings…the level of work and behavior I expect them to put out at school and the only acceptable grades on their report cards)…I could actually see her getting older with every step she took. My loving baby…my prissy pre-teen…my wise-ass teen…my hard working college student…my independent young woman…my happily married wife…my mother of three…my daughter. I pray I’m here to meet them all.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Above the neck:
Tracy Dixon. She was a tall young lady for her age at 12. By the awkward way that she carried herself I could tell that she had just experienced a growth spurt and had yet to grow accustomed to her long limbs. She was the sweetest thing. I could tell at the time that she wanted to get to know me better and I had a hidden attraction to her as well. But she wore glasses. And every one knew at the time that “boys don’t make passes at girls that wear glasses”. So why did I dig her so much?
It took me some time and plenty of secret crushes, on girls in glasses, to realize that I was not one of those boys that they were referring to in that quote. In high school and my freshman year in college I realized I had the same crush for a tall cheerleader named Tonie that wore glasses as well. Was it the glasses or what they represented?
To me there are two types of beauty that I am attracted to…
1. The classic beauties…the Lena Horne’s , Phylicia Ayers Rashad’s, Angela Bassett's and Sanaa Lathan's . Women whose looks will not fade with time.
2. The ones, I lovingly refer to as, having something extra going on above the neck.
Through Tracey I learned to appreciate the little (for lack of a better word) flaws. From glasses to freckles...slightly cross-eyed…prominent noses...prominent foreheads and bright read hair…I started to love it all.
Trying to explain my personal preference to my boys is a waste of course. They’ve labeled it everything from The Bench-Warmer Complex to The Second String Syndrome. They don’t understand that the shell is just something that I see as an initial attraction and it’s the personality, whit and charm that keeps me there…that makes me covet that woman’s time and attention.
So to all the Tracey Dixon’s of the world…who shy away from the limelight…who think that a winner with a million dollar smile and matching personality are out of their reach…fear not. Here I am. *big smile*
It took me some time and plenty of secret crushes, on girls in glasses, to realize that I was not one of those boys that they were referring to in that quote. In high school and my freshman year in college I realized I had the same crush for a tall cheerleader named Tonie that wore glasses as well. Was it the glasses or what they represented?
To me there are two types of beauty that I am attracted to…
1. The classic beauties…the Lena Horne’s , Phylicia Ayers Rashad’s, Angela Bassett's and Sanaa Lathan's . Women whose looks will not fade with time.
2. The ones, I lovingly refer to as, having something extra going on above the neck.
Through Tracey I learned to appreciate the little (for lack of a better word) flaws. From glasses to freckles...slightly cross-eyed…prominent noses...prominent foreheads and bright read hair…I started to love it all.
Trying to explain my personal preference to my boys is a waste of course. They’ve labeled it everything from The Bench-Warmer Complex to The Second String Syndrome. They don’t understand that the shell is just something that I see as an initial attraction and it’s the personality, whit and charm that keeps me there…that makes me covet that woman’s time and attention.
So to all the Tracey Dixon’s of the world…who shy away from the limelight…who think that a winner with a million dollar smile and matching personality are out of their reach…fear not. Here I am. *big smile*
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
What a Morning...
Sunday morning. There’s no other way to describe it but to simply lay out the facts as they took place and hope you guys understand…here we go.
…It’s just too early in the morning. You know when you can hear the birds chirping loud as fuck outside even though it’s still dark? “Shit, I know that I have insomnia from time to time but what the fuck is their reason for being up so fucking early in the morning?” Not being able to sleep I went out early this morning to pick up a few things that I needed and was just getting back home. From the front of the house I could make out my ex-wife’s buzz-saw-esque snoring all the way from her bedroom. The very thought of her under the same roof sent chills up and down my spine and the sound of her snoring just reminded me why I divorced her ass. I checked the display on my cell phone and saw a “new message” icon yet I got no damned audible notification. “Fucking Nextel” I mumbled to myself as I called to check the message. A sly smile comes across my face as last nights events begin to play in my mind. It’s Danny (yall remember…the Bitch from the ‘Beware of Bitch!!!’ entry). She’s obviously trying to three-way me with one of her girlfriends on the line playing around, (which she often does thinking I haven’t caught on to the juvenile trick by now). As I listen on she thinks that she has disconnected my voice mail but she hasn’t and she continues to talk shit to her girl. There’s a knock on her front door. “Damn I gotta get Verizon cause you can hear everything through her fucking phone” I thought as I continued to listen to the message. As she opened the door I heard a very familiar male voice. A horrible Bill Cosby impersonation was doing its best to herd her from her foyer to as close to the bedroom as he could get her before starting an impromptu SMASH session. This was the first time ever I heard my world famous Bill Cosby impersonation played back to me out of a phone speaker and trust me I was not impressed. “Mental note…my Bill Cosby needs some work.” I smiled as I listened to the final seconds of the message filled with heavy breathing, ripping of clothing, sharp squeals and a quick “Girl I gotta go” CLICK.
BOOM BOOM BOOM! “Who the fuck would be knocking on my door before sunrise?!!!” I opened the door to see my man Gee from work. He’s so recently separated from his wife that I was sure that he was having problems sleeping like me. At that un-Godly hour of the morning when you just have to get out of the house the hardest thing to do is figure out a destination…I intuitively figured out that I must have been his and let him in. No sooner than I heard the creaking of the rear bedroom door opening did I see my ex-wife standing in the living room with us. I almost forgot that at times she could be quite attractive. That fair skin, jet black Indian hair and that drop ass that always got me standing at attention. Looking at her I could see how she trapped me at the tender age of 19. But that perturbed look on her face at that very moment reminded me just why I finally broke free. I ignored her and finally began unpacking the bag I walked in with. Some toiletries, adult diapers with the little blue and pink RocaWear logos all over them and a long denim skirt. “Shit!” I said to myself when I realized that what I thought was adult diapers was in fact some no-name maxi pads. “What you got tampons, Bruh?” Gee joked. “Fuck you man” I said as I picked up the skirt, deodorant and other things and headed off to the shower. I quickly hopped in the steaming shower wondering to myself if I was actually planning on putting on that damned skirt or if it was just so damned early in the morning that I was not yet in my right mind. Just then Gee lightly tapped on the bathroom door and let himself in. “So bruh, is it a girl or a guy?” he asked. “What? Da’fuck you talking out man?” I answered, for the first time starting to question his walking all up in the bathroom with that soft ass tone of his. “The person your wife is fucking around with. Is it a girl or a guy?” I couldn’t recall it but I must have at some time informed him that not only did I know that she was cheating on me but the fact that she was straight gay when we first met. “Man I got no clue. Don’t matter either way…I just hate being lied to”.
BOOM BOOM BOOM! I heard a knock on the bathroom door. All I could make out from the small voice on the other side was that it had to use the bathroom. The voice grew louder “I just need to use the bathroom!” It was my eldest daughter informing my son that she was about to invade on his shower time like it or not. This was a familiar sound in this house, but not this damned early in the morning. I rolled over wiping the sleep outta my eyes and trying to focus in on the red blob of lights that stood on the face of my digital clock. “6:00AM!” I was still trying to separate fact from that horrible dream I was having. “Shit the school bus don’t even leave till 8:00.” My head started to clear up and the sexual overtones of that dream began to disturb me a bit. “Was I about to put on pads and a skirt?!!!!” PWAHAHAH!!! The thought was funny as hell to me. “HOLD UP!! Today is Sunday. Da’fuck is everyone doing up so early?!”
I fought my way from under my covers when I felt that the Heineken I chugged right before hitting the sack last night was resting on my bladder and trying to fighting its way out. “I guess that might explain the adult diapers in the dream” I was thinking as I made my way down the hall towards the bathroom. “Mental note…designer adult diapers. Generation X aint gonna want to be pissing on themselves wearing the same adult diapers that their grandparents used to rock. We’re label-whores and just too flossy for that shit.” I could see the bedroom door closing as I was walking up on it and figured that I missed my opportunity to greet the lady of the house. God bless the woman that I finally settle down with, cause that 6 year old princess is gonna cause all sorts of hell for the woman that tries to take any of her attention.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! There’s nothing in the world like that morning piss for a man…the soothing sound…the white porcelain.
“Little-Man…uh…its six o clock on a Sunday morning. What are you doing in the shower?”
“I just felt like taking a shower”
“Da’fuck?!!! Am I still sleeping or what?” I asked myself as my eyebrows rose while I tried to figure it all out. Then it came to me…slowly at first. “He just felt like taking a shower. OH!!!” I smiled…flushed…washed my hands in silence…and gave him his privacy. Thank God I had the wet dream talk with him 3 months ago on his 10th birthday. I exited the room thinking that I’ll talk to him later on and see how the whole Boys to Men development thing is coming along. Maybe even pick his brain and see just who this morning’s object of his affection was. Man if my dream was as wild as all that…his must’ve been a mind blower.
“And it’s only 6:15 in the damned morning” I shook my head as I lay back down under the covers. If this day was a domino game…I’d be knocking on the table…PASS BEYOTCH!!!!
…It’s just too early in the morning. You know when you can hear the birds chirping loud as fuck outside even though it’s still dark? “Shit, I know that I have insomnia from time to time but what the fuck is their reason for being up so fucking early in the morning?” Not being able to sleep I went out early this morning to pick up a few things that I needed and was just getting back home. From the front of the house I could make out my ex-wife’s buzz-saw-esque snoring all the way from her bedroom. The very thought of her under the same roof sent chills up and down my spine and the sound of her snoring just reminded me why I divorced her ass. I checked the display on my cell phone and saw a “new message” icon yet I got no damned audible notification. “Fucking Nextel” I mumbled to myself as I called to check the message. A sly smile comes across my face as last nights events begin to play in my mind. It’s Danny (yall remember…the Bitch from the ‘Beware of Bitch!!!’ entry). She’s obviously trying to three-way me with one of her girlfriends on the line playing around, (which she often does thinking I haven’t caught on to the juvenile trick by now). As I listen on she thinks that she has disconnected my voice mail but she hasn’t and she continues to talk shit to her girl. There’s a knock on her front door. “Damn I gotta get Verizon cause you can hear everything through her fucking phone” I thought as I continued to listen to the message. As she opened the door I heard a very familiar male voice. A horrible Bill Cosby impersonation was doing its best to herd her from her foyer to as close to the bedroom as he could get her before starting an impromptu SMASH session. This was the first time ever I heard my world famous Bill Cosby impersonation played back to me out of a phone speaker and trust me I was not impressed. “Mental note…my Bill Cosby needs some work.” I smiled as I listened to the final seconds of the message filled with heavy breathing, ripping of clothing, sharp squeals and a quick “Girl I gotta go” CLICK.
BOOM BOOM BOOM! “Who the fuck would be knocking on my door before sunrise?!!!” I opened the door to see my man Gee from work. He’s so recently separated from his wife that I was sure that he was having problems sleeping like me. At that un-Godly hour of the morning when you just have to get out of the house the hardest thing to do is figure out a destination…I intuitively figured out that I must have been his and let him in. No sooner than I heard the creaking of the rear bedroom door opening did I see my ex-wife standing in the living room with us. I almost forgot that at times she could be quite attractive. That fair skin, jet black Indian hair and that drop ass that always got me standing at attention. Looking at her I could see how she trapped me at the tender age of 19. But that perturbed look on her face at that very moment reminded me just why I finally broke free. I ignored her and finally began unpacking the bag I walked in with. Some toiletries, adult diapers with the little blue and pink RocaWear logos all over them and a long denim skirt. “Shit!” I said to myself when I realized that what I thought was adult diapers was in fact some no-name maxi pads. “What you got tampons, Bruh?” Gee joked. “Fuck you man” I said as I picked up the skirt, deodorant and other things and headed off to the shower. I quickly hopped in the steaming shower wondering to myself if I was actually planning on putting on that damned skirt or if it was just so damned early in the morning that I was not yet in my right mind. Just then Gee lightly tapped on the bathroom door and let himself in. “So bruh, is it a girl or a guy?” he asked. “What? Da’fuck you talking out man?” I answered, for the first time starting to question his walking all up in the bathroom with that soft ass tone of his. “The person your wife is fucking around with. Is it a girl or a guy?” I couldn’t recall it but I must have at some time informed him that not only did I know that she was cheating on me but the fact that she was straight gay when we first met. “Man I got no clue. Don’t matter either way…I just hate being lied to”.
BOOM BOOM BOOM! I heard a knock on the bathroom door. All I could make out from the small voice on the other side was that it had to use the bathroom. The voice grew louder “I just need to use the bathroom!” It was my eldest daughter informing my son that she was about to invade on his shower time like it or not. This was a familiar sound in this house, but not this damned early in the morning. I rolled over wiping the sleep outta my eyes and trying to focus in on the red blob of lights that stood on the face of my digital clock. “6:00AM!” I was still trying to separate fact from that horrible dream I was having. “Shit the school bus don’t even leave till 8:00.” My head started to clear up and the sexual overtones of that dream began to disturb me a bit. “Was I about to put on pads and a skirt?!!!!” PWAHAHAH!!! The thought was funny as hell to me. “HOLD UP!! Today is Sunday. Da’fuck is everyone doing up so early?!”
I fought my way from under my covers when I felt that the Heineken I chugged right before hitting the sack last night was resting on my bladder and trying to fighting its way out. “I guess that might explain the adult diapers in the dream” I was thinking as I made my way down the hall towards the bathroom. “Mental note…designer adult diapers. Generation X aint gonna want to be pissing on themselves wearing the same adult diapers that their grandparents used to rock. We’re label-whores and just too flossy for that shit.” I could see the bedroom door closing as I was walking up on it and figured that I missed my opportunity to greet the lady of the house. God bless the woman that I finally settle down with, cause that 6 year old princess is gonna cause all sorts of hell for the woman that tries to take any of her attention.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! There’s nothing in the world like that morning piss for a man…the soothing sound…the white porcelain.
“Little-Man…uh…its six o clock on a Sunday morning. What are you doing in the shower?”
“I just felt like taking a shower”
“Da’fuck?!!! Am I still sleeping or what?” I asked myself as my eyebrows rose while I tried to figure it all out. Then it came to me…slowly at first. “He just felt like taking a shower. OH!!!” I smiled…flushed…washed my hands in silence…and gave him his privacy. Thank God I had the wet dream talk with him 3 months ago on his 10th birthday. I exited the room thinking that I’ll talk to him later on and see how the whole Boys to Men development thing is coming along. Maybe even pick his brain and see just who this morning’s object of his affection was. Man if my dream was as wild as all that…his must’ve been a mind blower.
“And it’s only 6:15 in the damned morning” I shook my head as I lay back down under the covers. If this day was a domino game…I’d be knocking on the table…PASS BEYOTCH!!!!
Saturday, May 01, 2004
As a young-grasshopper:
You know what? I'm far from a desperate type of cat. Sure I go through the occasional drought from time to time...but I've had more than my share of sex as a youth (yeah I was a little man whore) so I dont complain at all when they dry spells come. But I tell ya what...right now...I could use a lil' water. Sweat...or any other fluids that might come to mind...but I could use it.
It got so bad that I couldn’t even think of a word to put in this blog today except..."I could use a nice strong SMASH session right about now". LMAO!!! I thought of it as writer's block. But being the young-grasshopper that I am in this great world called BLOG...the great sensei Elle (You happy Elle? There goes your name again LMAO!!!)…sensing a great disturbance in the Force came to my assistance. With her Kush and Sandalwood incense filling up the air...sitting cross legged (right over left) in her meditative seemingly comatose state (all of this figuratively of course) she listened as I explained just why I felt I had no story to share with you all. And lemme tell ya this people...when you got a fine ass sistah like Elle on the line...coming off sounding desperate and horny is not at all how you want to appear so you know I must have love for her to dish out all my B.I. Business like that.
"Use the Force, Wirldwyde!!"
"Uh...Elle...I'm at work right now and they frown on masturbation here...although I'm probably freaky enough to do it"
"No, young-grasshopper, write what's on your mind...even if you think no one wants to read about it"
"You mean...'if I write it they will come'?"
"Yeah whateva floats your boat."
"OHHHH! OK. And...uh...let’s just keep that masturbating at work thing to ourselves aight? Cool!"
Words of wisdom...it pays to stay in the good graces of a guru.
It got so bad that I couldn’t even think of a word to put in this blog today except..."I could use a nice strong SMASH session right about now". LMAO!!! I thought of it as writer's block. But being the young-grasshopper that I am in this great world called BLOG...the great sensei Elle (You happy Elle? There goes your name again LMAO!!!)…sensing a great disturbance in the Force came to my assistance. With her Kush and Sandalwood incense filling up the air...sitting cross legged (right over left) in her meditative seemingly comatose state (all of this figuratively of course) she listened as I explained just why I felt I had no story to share with you all. And lemme tell ya this people...when you got a fine ass sistah like Elle on the line...coming off sounding desperate and horny is not at all how you want to appear so you know I must have love for her to dish out all my B.I. Business like that.
"Use the Force, Wirldwyde!!"
"Uh...Elle...I'm at work right now and they frown on masturbation here...although I'm probably freaky enough to do it"
"No, young-grasshopper, write what's on your mind...even if you think no one wants to read about it"
"You mean...'if I write it they will come'?"
"Yeah whateva floats your boat."
"OHHHH! OK. And...uh...let’s just keep that masturbating at work thing to ourselves aight? Cool!"
Words of wisdom...it pays to stay in the good graces of a guru.
Friday, April 30, 2004
Beware of Bitch!!!
Yall ever have a pet that likes you but no one else? A dog that barked and barked at every body else in the house but let you pet it and rub its belly? There’s a special feeling that comes with that right? Like if no one else in this world sees it…this animal sees that you're special.
Well as long as I can remember it’s been like that for me and women. I’m attracted to the bitch. That’s right ladies I said BITCH and I meant that shit too. The bitch that takes no shit. The bitch you have to come at correctly or get a chunk of your ass bitten off. That bitch has been my weakness since the age of 7.
I often try to rationalize it by calling it the “Bad Girl Syndrome”. Similar to the “Bad Boy Syndrome” so many women seem to fall victim to. But that’s not accurate in my case cause though I love a bad girl (shit I’m from Brooklyn…bad girls is all I knew coming up)…it’s the fact that I could be the only one that gets in good…the only one she treats with kindness that draws me in.
Needless to say the shit rarely works out for me. The last one I met is a now good friend of mine that to this day still gives me shit daily. Danny…for lack of a better made up name…got me off jump. We were in a meeting when I first noticed her. The look was nice. Deep brown eyes…extra full lips…and a butter-pecan tone that made it hard to take my eyes off her. I played the corner of our conference room…just shooting the shit with an old friend…while I watched her make her way through the crowd with a look on her face like that fucking conference filled with those fucking people was the last place she wanted to be. She made her way over to us and stood there talking to my boys holding her celly in her hand as if she had no plans on staying long at all.
Up close I got a really good look at Danny from the neck down. Now I’m no breast man but her 36C’s sent all sorts of erotic thoughts racing through my mind and as my eyes scrolled down her body I could tell through her tight business skirt that she was working with enough to keep a certified ass-man like myself happy through the years.
The silver casing of the cell phone she held in her hand that was resting on hip caught my attention and gave me an idea so I decided to seize the moment (especially since no one at the table was thinking about giving up an introduction). I gently pulled the phone from her grip and began going through all the features like we were old friends. Finally Danny looked down at me gave a nonchalant smirk and signaled down to her hand that was opened waiting for me to return her property. She left…without saying a word…but it just made me want to get to know her that much more.
We worked closely together in the upcoming months. I got to know that in fact she was a true bitch at times. She had a way of shutting a cat down before he even got started. So I pushed up. Not too hard…cause the smell of desperation is a turn off for any sex…male or female. And I got shot down with everything in the arsenal from “I got a man” to “I don’t date co-workers”.
Over the last two years Danny and I got to be really close…though her attitude gets to be a bit much at times. I mean I try to do right…be there to listen to the problems…lend out my shit…offer what little I have to give and it always seems to be met with that same bitchy attitude. I don’t take it personal though. See that’s the attitude everyone gets from her. And though I swear some days I’ll never speak to her rude ass again when I see her the next day it’s like that flick 50 First Dates and we always start with a clean slate.
Danny’s the one I called at 1:30 in the morning when I couldn’t sleep and I saw that chick that got burned up by the drunk driver tell Oprah and the world that she only gives herself 5 minutes a day to feel sorry for herself. She’s the first one I come at when the question of women and their weird ass ways leave me feeling like I’ll never get em. She’s the one I trusted enough to try some shit that I swore I’d never in my life try but in my older years got curious about.
Learning to understand her has even helped me to understand my Bitch-Fetish. You see I came to respect that a true bitch says whats on her mind. She doesn’t lie to spare your feelings and me…I have a deep seeded resentment of liars. After being lied to I always felt like I’ve been manipulate. And I’ve found that I rarely feel that way when it comes to her. Yes…she is a true bitch…but Danny…that’s my bitch right there.
So whats left to do but hold her…and all of the bullshit she be slinging…down. To understand that deep down she got love or she wouldn’t be there when it was me that was in need. To give up the hopes of us getting together and just accept the odd and sometimes frustrating relationship that we got (aight…I aint totally writing off the possibility of us getting together I just refuse to push up…if she realizes that she wants me she’ll have to put in some work and come get me).
HA!!! I can just hear all the colorful explicatives flying outta her mouth if only she knew I was writing this about her or even happened to read this. LMAO!!! I might just tell her to come on over and check it out…just to hear her bitch about it. Shit I haven't told anyone to shut the fuck up yet today...HA!
Oh...and as an aside...Elle of Elle's Garden is a great person...(she threatened me with violence if I dont mention her name in every blog entry...happy now sucka?? LMAO!!!)
Well as long as I can remember it’s been like that for me and women. I’m attracted to the bitch. That’s right ladies I said BITCH and I meant that shit too. The bitch that takes no shit. The bitch you have to come at correctly or get a chunk of your ass bitten off. That bitch has been my weakness since the age of 7.
I often try to rationalize it by calling it the “Bad Girl Syndrome”. Similar to the “Bad Boy Syndrome” so many women seem to fall victim to. But that’s not accurate in my case cause though I love a bad girl (shit I’m from Brooklyn…bad girls is all I knew coming up)…it’s the fact that I could be the only one that gets in good…the only one she treats with kindness that draws me in.
Needless to say the shit rarely works out for me. The last one I met is a now good friend of mine that to this day still gives me shit daily. Danny…for lack of a better made up name…got me off jump. We were in a meeting when I first noticed her. The look was nice. Deep brown eyes…extra full lips…and a butter-pecan tone that made it hard to take my eyes off her. I played the corner of our conference room…just shooting the shit with an old friend…while I watched her make her way through the crowd with a look on her face like that fucking conference filled with those fucking people was the last place she wanted to be. She made her way over to us and stood there talking to my boys holding her celly in her hand as if she had no plans on staying long at all.
Up close I got a really good look at Danny from the neck down. Now I’m no breast man but her 36C’s sent all sorts of erotic thoughts racing through my mind and as my eyes scrolled down her body I could tell through her tight business skirt that she was working with enough to keep a certified ass-man like myself happy through the years.
The silver casing of the cell phone she held in her hand that was resting on hip caught my attention and gave me an idea so I decided to seize the moment (especially since no one at the table was thinking about giving up an introduction). I gently pulled the phone from her grip and began going through all the features like we were old friends. Finally Danny looked down at me gave a nonchalant smirk and signaled down to her hand that was opened waiting for me to return her property. She left…without saying a word…but it just made me want to get to know her that much more.
We worked closely together in the upcoming months. I got to know that in fact she was a true bitch at times. She had a way of shutting a cat down before he even got started. So I pushed up. Not too hard…cause the smell of desperation is a turn off for any sex…male or female. And I got shot down with everything in the arsenal from “I got a man” to “I don’t date co-workers”.
Over the last two years Danny and I got to be really close…though her attitude gets to be a bit much at times. I mean I try to do right…be there to listen to the problems…lend out my shit…offer what little I have to give and it always seems to be met with that same bitchy attitude. I don’t take it personal though. See that’s the attitude everyone gets from her. And though I swear some days I’ll never speak to her rude ass again when I see her the next day it’s like that flick 50 First Dates and we always start with a clean slate.
Danny’s the one I called at 1:30 in the morning when I couldn’t sleep and I saw that chick that got burned up by the drunk driver tell Oprah and the world that she only gives herself 5 minutes a day to feel sorry for herself. She’s the first one I come at when the question of women and their weird ass ways leave me feeling like I’ll never get em. She’s the one I trusted enough to try some shit that I swore I’d never in my life try but in my older years got curious about.
Learning to understand her has even helped me to understand my Bitch-Fetish. You see I came to respect that a true bitch says whats on her mind. She doesn’t lie to spare your feelings and me…I have a deep seeded resentment of liars. After being lied to I always felt like I’ve been manipulate. And I’ve found that I rarely feel that way when it comes to her. Yes…she is a true bitch…but Danny…that’s my bitch right there.
So whats left to do but hold her…and all of the bullshit she be slinging…down. To understand that deep down she got love or she wouldn’t be there when it was me that was in need. To give up the hopes of us getting together and just accept the odd and sometimes frustrating relationship that we got (aight…I aint totally writing off the possibility of us getting together I just refuse to push up…if she realizes that she wants me she’ll have to put in some work and come get me).
HA!!! I can just hear all the colorful explicatives flying outta her mouth if only she knew I was writing this about her or even happened to read this. LMAO!!! I might just tell her to come on over and check it out…just to hear her bitch about it. Shit I haven't told anyone to shut the fuck up yet today...HA!
Oh...and as an aside...Elle of Elle's Garden is a great person...(she threatened me with violence if I dont mention her name in every blog entry...happy now sucka?? LMAO!!!)
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Who says cartoons dont teach?
“With great power, comes great responsibility.”
Most guys out there know this quote. For the uninformed these are the pearls of wisdom passed on to Spiderman by his dear old Uncle Ben…no not the white guy on the rice box.
Now during the final 10 minutes of my daily trek home I usually recall the days events…trying to make sense out of all the BS that’s gone down during the day. I try to find any hidden lessons that eluded me due to my arrogance. I try to calm myself and prepare for the 2 bundles of joy that played no part in pissing me off beyond the levels of pissed-off-icity at work…and I try to think of something I can share with them that they may not know about this world that they are in.
“With great power, comes great responsibility.”
It popped into my head like a familiar old 80’s cut…and played itself over and over again until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. And then along came the epiphany. (Mind you I love epiphanies…they remind me that though I think I know it all…I truly only understand very little of it).
I have GREAT POWER! Imagine my surprise.
It’s like the time in the 5th grade when my little white friend Danny comes up and asks me who I think the strongest person in the class is. “Maurice of course” I tell him “He always gets homeruns when we’re playing punch-ball and he throws a football farther than anyone I know”. Danny’s expression changed and in a serious tone he asked, “What about you?” What about me? The thought never crossed my mind. Me…the strongest person in our class? HA!!! Stronger than Maurice? I still laugh about that when I think about it. It’s strange how strongly we can be affected by how others see us. Well at this very moment…it dawned on me that Uncle Ben’s quote wasn’t just about web-slinging…spidey-senses…incredible feats of strength. There’s more to power.
Sure I can drop any cat on the street for gritting on me with one blow…I learned that years ago when I finally started feeling the weight behind my punches. It’s a euphoric feeling at times…yes. But still I am the slowest person to raise his hands in violence. It’s just not my way. I prefer to use my strength for better things. For carrying a shit load of grocery bags home…in the summer heat…walking these long ass VA streets. (By the way VDOT…yall really need to put some more sidewalks up in this beyotch) I like to surprise my special someone with a night of earth-moving…muscle straining…headboard breaking…love making. The type that gets you the eggs in bed the next morning…don’t fake yall know what I’m talking bout here. I like to use my power to entertain my youth…lifting all three of em up…two in my arms and one on my back and acting as if I don’t even notice them on me…its my responsibility to use that power to entertain them…to protect them…to better this world while I’m here…to bring forth change. We have a lot of responsibilities as black men, fathers and husbands because we have such great power.
As I finally made it to my front door…so lost in thought I didn’t even remember exactly how I got there…I wondered how I would share this concept with the two shorties waiting upstairs. I started to feel like old ass Uncle Ben himself just knowing that they would not get it. But like the old man…who knew no one is promised another day on this planet…I decided to put the words out there for them and only hope that one day…like their pops they too would understand what true power is…that they are powerful…and how to use it.
Most guys out there know this quote. For the uninformed these are the pearls of wisdom passed on to Spiderman by his dear old Uncle Ben…no not the white guy on the rice box.
Now during the final 10 minutes of my daily trek home I usually recall the days events…trying to make sense out of all the BS that’s gone down during the day. I try to find any hidden lessons that eluded me due to my arrogance. I try to calm myself and prepare for the 2 bundles of joy that played no part in pissing me off beyond the levels of pissed-off-icity at work…and I try to think of something I can share with them that they may not know about this world that they are in.
“With great power, comes great responsibility.”
It popped into my head like a familiar old 80’s cut…and played itself over and over again until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. And then along came the epiphany. (Mind you I love epiphanies…they remind me that though I think I know it all…I truly only understand very little of it).
I have GREAT POWER! Imagine my surprise.
It’s like the time in the 5th grade when my little white friend Danny comes up and asks me who I think the strongest person in the class is. “Maurice of course” I tell him “He always gets homeruns when we’re playing punch-ball and he throws a football farther than anyone I know”. Danny’s expression changed and in a serious tone he asked, “What about you?” What about me? The thought never crossed my mind. Me…the strongest person in our class? HA!!! Stronger than Maurice? I still laugh about that when I think about it. It’s strange how strongly we can be affected by how others see us. Well at this very moment…it dawned on me that Uncle Ben’s quote wasn’t just about web-slinging…spidey-senses…incredible feats of strength. There’s more to power.
Sure I can drop any cat on the street for gritting on me with one blow…I learned that years ago when I finally started feeling the weight behind my punches. It’s a euphoric feeling at times…yes. But still I am the slowest person to raise his hands in violence. It’s just not my way. I prefer to use my strength for better things. For carrying a shit load of grocery bags home…in the summer heat…walking these long ass VA streets. (By the way VDOT…yall really need to put some more sidewalks up in this beyotch) I like to surprise my special someone with a night of earth-moving…muscle straining…headboard breaking…love making. The type that gets you the eggs in bed the next morning…don’t fake yall know what I’m talking bout here. I like to use my power to entertain my youth…lifting all three of em up…two in my arms and one on my back and acting as if I don’t even notice them on me…its my responsibility to use that power to entertain them…to protect them…to better this world while I’m here…to bring forth change. We have a lot of responsibilities as black men, fathers and husbands because we have such great power.
As I finally made it to my front door…so lost in thought I didn’t even remember exactly how I got there…I wondered how I would share this concept with the two shorties waiting upstairs. I started to feel like old ass Uncle Ben himself just knowing that they would not get it. But like the old man…who knew no one is promised another day on this planet…I decided to put the words out there for them and only hope that one day…like their pops they too would understand what true power is…that they are powerful…and how to use it.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
So, where was I? Ah! The eve of my exodus from Brooklyn to HU and higher learning.
Well I did something less than intelligent that evening which wound me in Long Island lock up. With concert tickets and plans on being out of the house all night anyway I opted to call everyone except my mother and step father that I could and if they couldn’t get me out I would do my time and face the judge in the morning and make up a lame excuse once I made it home. The longest night of my life doesn’t begin to describe that evening. Little did I know the morning held a surprise that would make the evening seem like a vacation.
After being transported to the court house, and a long wait in a cell in the basement I’m taken to the court room entrance and ordered to file in behind the others waiting to be heard. As I walk in I look over the crowd that filled the seats only to see four familiar faces sitting in the front row. My mother, step-father, dad and step-mother. WHOA!!! Not only am I wondering how in the hell they found out but if they knew where I was why in the hell didn’t they come post bail before now?
Needless to say after a long four hour ride to HU with all four in the mini-van unloading barrage after barrage of disappointed looks and disappointed words at me I found a slight appreciation for my timing in the matter. After all if I was still living at home I’d be hearing about my mistake for weeks if not months instead of just four hours. Either way, I’d live.
Ok Ok…I’m sure we all know how this story goes…(lets hope so because I’m feeling a little to lazy to go into great detail with it…LOL) HU gave me way too much freedom…way too little guidance…and before long I was one co-founder of my own dance company (Subtle Motion)…had a child on the way (never turn you back on a stalker)…and switched gears from education to real life.
But enough about me…
Well I did something less than intelligent that evening which wound me in Long Island lock up. With concert tickets and plans on being out of the house all night anyway I opted to call everyone except my mother and step father that I could and if they couldn’t get me out I would do my time and face the judge in the morning and make up a lame excuse once I made it home. The longest night of my life doesn’t begin to describe that evening. Little did I know the morning held a surprise that would make the evening seem like a vacation.
After being transported to the court house, and a long wait in a cell in the basement I’m taken to the court room entrance and ordered to file in behind the others waiting to be heard. As I walk in I look over the crowd that filled the seats only to see four familiar faces sitting in the front row. My mother, step-father, dad and step-mother. WHOA!!! Not only am I wondering how in the hell they found out but if they knew where I was why in the hell didn’t they come post bail before now?
Needless to say after a long four hour ride to HU with all four in the mini-van unloading barrage after barrage of disappointed looks and disappointed words at me I found a slight appreciation for my timing in the matter. After all if I was still living at home I’d be hearing about my mistake for weeks if not months instead of just four hours. Either way, I’d live.
Ok Ok…I’m sure we all know how this story goes…(lets hope so because I’m feeling a little to lazy to go into great detail with it…LOL) HU gave me way too much freedom…way too little guidance…and before long I was one co-founder of my own dance company (Subtle Motion)…had a child on the way (never turn you back on a stalker)…and switched gears from education to real life.
But enough about me…
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
I was thinking on it a bit last night. The old blog was on my BP page that had pretty much every fact about me that you could want to know plus more. But here, nothing. So let me introduce myself and bring the world up to speed.
Well I am a product of bad night turning good. A product of a Bajan (from Barbados) woman new to this country, in the roughest borough in the great city of New York, Brooklyn, cast out on the streets by her only family here and a Bajan married man that happened to answer the phone this fateful evening instead of his wife. A product of innocence meets experience. Naïve meets native. And 9 months later here I am. A March 5th Pisces introduced to the world in 1973.
I guess my intuitive need to be a strong and constant father figure to children stems from the lack of one. Don’t get me wrong here. I did see my father. Every weekend when I visited my brother, grandmother and grandfather in the 3 story brownstone located in Crown Heights. But we never spent time together. He never dropped me the pearls of wisdom you’d expect from a dad. No sex talks. Not even a “Just Say No”. My older brother instead raised me to be a man. Without me even realizing it he taught me how to survive the streets of New York with comments like “Only punks look back. If you had something to say to that man you’d have said it when he walked by.” “What one man can do another can do” taught me to fear no man as I made my way home from one side of Brooklyn to the other at the age of 12. He along with my mother molded me, as I’ll mold my youth.
I followed him to church and into the youth group that would ultimately provide me the freedom to grow into my young adulthood. If you haven’t figured this simple fact out for yourselves yet, there’s truly a lot more going on in our churches that meets the eye these days. From sex in the church basement to knife fights on the corner the world developed right before my eyes. And under the guise of “church events” our parents never batted an eye or gave a second thought to it as long as we covered wounds and cleaned the smell of sex off of ourselves before making our way home.
Despite my environment and all that came with it I managed to keep my nose relatively clean and steered away from most trouble that found me. While sex played a major influence in my life and love blinded me from most dangers I still excelled in school work and managed to stay in top classes and top schools until I made my way to DC in 91 with only one encounter with the law the night before leaving for Howard University.
I see this is way too much for one blog entry…so lets continue this another day.
Well I am a product of bad night turning good. A product of a Bajan (from Barbados) woman new to this country, in the roughest borough in the great city of New York, Brooklyn, cast out on the streets by her only family here and a Bajan married man that happened to answer the phone this fateful evening instead of his wife. A product of innocence meets experience. Naïve meets native. And 9 months later here I am. A March 5th Pisces introduced to the world in 1973.
I guess my intuitive need to be a strong and constant father figure to children stems from the lack of one. Don’t get me wrong here. I did see my father. Every weekend when I visited my brother, grandmother and grandfather in the 3 story brownstone located in Crown Heights. But we never spent time together. He never dropped me the pearls of wisdom you’d expect from a dad. No sex talks. Not even a “Just Say No”. My older brother instead raised me to be a man. Without me even realizing it he taught me how to survive the streets of New York with comments like “Only punks look back. If you had something to say to that man you’d have said it when he walked by.” “What one man can do another can do” taught me to fear no man as I made my way home from one side of Brooklyn to the other at the age of 12. He along with my mother molded me, as I’ll mold my youth.
I followed him to church and into the youth group that would ultimately provide me the freedom to grow into my young adulthood. If you haven’t figured this simple fact out for yourselves yet, there’s truly a lot more going on in our churches that meets the eye these days. From sex in the church basement to knife fights on the corner the world developed right before my eyes. And under the guise of “church events” our parents never batted an eye or gave a second thought to it as long as we covered wounds and cleaned the smell of sex off of ourselves before making our way home.
Despite my environment and all that came with it I managed to keep my nose relatively clean and steered away from most trouble that found me. While sex played a major influence in my life and love blinded me from most dangers I still excelled in school work and managed to stay in top classes and top schools until I made my way to DC in 91 with only one encounter with the law the night before leaving for Howard University.
I see this is way too much for one blog entry…so lets continue this another day.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
This is a continuation of my budding blog that has outgrown its home on my BlackPlanet page. So at the suggestion of a good friend I have found my way to my new home. I hope everyone enjoys me.
Hey World. I have to say that I had one of the best birthdays ever this past Friday. Though it was at my regular watering hole the crowd of friends that I had show up was far from the norm. And me being the attention whore that I am…I loved it thoroughly. My trip outta town was cancelled at the last minute but after waking up people in my drunken state and still getting no where I decided it was probably all for the best anyways. So to all that sent me birthday wishes and caviar dreams for my special day I thank you. And hope the same for you all for the remainder of the year.
Hey World. I have to say that I had one of the best birthdays ever this past Friday. Though it was at my regular watering hole the crowd of friends that I had show up was far from the norm. And me being the attention whore that I am…I loved it thoroughly. My trip outta town was cancelled at the last minute but after waking up people in my drunken state and still getting no where I decided it was probably all for the best anyways. So to all that sent me birthday wishes and caviar dreams for my special day I thank you. And hope the same for you all for the remainder of the year.
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